Bringing Home #2

June 16, 2018



Here's the deal you guys-  When I got pregnant in the Summer of 2016, it wasn't planned.  Neither was the miscarriage.  Two ways of God working in our lives, that I had absolutely no control over.  In processing that baby's loss (I call her my M&M baby) with Jon, we were sure we wanted two and we were sure we wanted them close.  So, although we weren't actively planning with a fertility tracker, we also weren't using protection to keep another baby from being made.  Insert becoming pregnant three months after our loss. We were ecstatic.  The boys would be 19 months apart.  They'd be so close, and play all of the time.  There'd be nothing but love in the Jury-Chafe Household.  

Lesson number one: Setting expectations.. Don't do it. They lead to disappointment, and boy did they.

Our number 1 didn't like baby from the minute we brought him home.  There was a terrible month where #2 and I couldn't be in the same room as him, without him screaming for us to get out.  I was shocked.  He didn't want to hold him, kiss him, nothing.  I mean, imagine the worst possible scenario of a bringing a baby brother home, and times it by ten.  That was us. It was horrible.  Within two weeks we all had pink eye and were sick.  I was spread thin between trying to comfort and be there emotionally for #1 after c-section recovery, and  physically for #2.  

I know the definition of INSANITY- (doing the same things over and over and expecting different results), from AA... well, if I could apply that word to this situation, I wouldn't- because I would not repeat this phase of our life again, ever.  

As #2 approaches turning one, I am holding on to every last second of the sweetness that infancy is and dreading him turning into the "terrific toddler" that I know he will.  The boys are slowly but surely coming around to playing with each other, and it  makes it all worth it. I'm loving the way they play and interact with each other (fricken finally).  

But when mother's of one ask me how I like having them so close together because they think they want their kids so close together, I AM NOT THE GIRL TO ASK. My advice: SPACE BETTER.  

Then again, every situation is totally different.  AND (and this is a big and), I am in recovery from alcohol for a reason. I don't have the best best coping skills in life.  SO, the other mother's would probably handle it in stride. Me? I just cried and Google searched blogs in hopes of some family out there that was going through what we were, and in turn found only happy and wonderful  experiences of bringing home baby #2. Which brings me to lesson number 2:  GOOGLE SEARCHING SUCKS, DON'T DO IT. 

Happy Saturday. 








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